Your Mother is a Hamster

VP product marketing, Acunu

Up at ten to five to get an early flight to Nice to attend the MIcrostrategy World conference in Cannes. Very interesting keynote presentation by MSTR CEO Michael Saylor at the launch of their iPad/iPhone mobile BI apps platform. Saylor was passionate about iPad; he regards it as a game changer; the biggest thing since the .COM boom, even bigger he suggested. I tweeted it and got a 2 to 1 vote in favour of iPad vs ‘it’s a fad’ (no, literally 2 to 1). I think I can regard that as a statistically valid sample. So bet the company Michael, you have the technorati with you all the way. And we’ll just call the rest the troglodati.

The more I play with an iPad the more I feel myself agreeing with him. But later I came across an intriguing argument for why IPad BI apps will succeed. Think of all those managers who’ve bought or want to buy iPads; the perfect justification is ‘so I can be connected to my KPIs and access my critical performance reports wherever I am’. That’s going to get the expense approved, no brainer; well better than ’but it’s so cool, and everyone else has one’.

Then I came across another example at dinner. There was a boys-and-their-toys moment during the hiatus before dessert and everyone is slapping his phone on the table and arguing the case. Most of which was legitimate geekery but it reached its climax when someone observed that the key differentiator for his iPhone4 over his colleague’s Android Samsung with touchscreen (Omnia 2?) was ‘yeah, but it’s Apple’. And his justification was ‘you have similar job offers from two companies and one gives you a Peugeot company car and the other offers you an Audi. Which one are you going to pick?’ The quality, function, form and whatever can all be overridden by brand. And Apple is certainly the brand of the moment.

But the highlight of the dinner was discovering a Frenchman whose favourite film is ‘Holy Grail’. You haven’t laughed quite enough at the French taunting scene, until you’ve heard a genuine Frenchman do it. It’s still making me smile as I draft this later.

In fact i was drafting that much too later. For a bloke who started by complaining about how early he had to get up, I made a poor job of catching up on my beauty sleep. I’ve been on the booth in the partner exhibition hall from early this morning. I made it through my morning shift without falling asleep on the shoulder of a prospect while I listened to his earnest questions about query times for cartesian product joins. Just as well, I might have snored and dribbled on his suit and that’s just plain unprofessional (you can see I have high standards).